Yeh Aam Raasta Nahi Hai

RIP dear friend

2011-04-30T14:07:00.004+05:30

Jojo

5 May 2001 - 30 April 2011

Jojo died today morning. He was suffering for the last few months from chronic renal failure. His condition had worsened over the past week or so and it was in his best interest that he be put to sleep. We buried him at an animal rescue centre near sector 94. There were loads of dogs around. I am sure he'll be happy and must have already made friends with them.

Rest in peace dear friend,. You were always there when others weren't. Your unconditional love and brotherly affection always gave me strength whenever I was down. I will miss you.

PwC it is!

2011-02-02T11:21:00.005+05:30

A lot of water has flown through the drains of ISB after my last post. We had our day 1 and day 2 of placements, over the past few weekends. So yeah it has been a stressful time to say the least. Day 1 was disappointing for me, got dinged in the two interviews after round 1. I probably was way too excited after getting the shortlist in both the cases, so messed up my interview.
Day 2 was draining, both physically and mentally! I had four interviews lined up and the process spilled over to the next day. Finally got the offer on evening of 30th January - Senior Consultant at PwC ! Sweet.
Location will be Mumbai in all probability. I'll be heading down to the office to meet the partner sometime next week. So, yeah the consulting dream finally comes true!

Boka in Joka

2011-01-12T11:29:00.008+05:30

Ok, so finally an ego booster - we won a case competition at IIM Calcutta (or Joka as any IIM C loyalist would call it), to top it all McK was the organiser of the event . yippeee

Guess, what made the victory sweeter was the fact that we won it against all odds (in the hindsight all wins seem like that, but still)

I and S didn't feel like submitting it in the first place, for us drinking at Solistice was more important - we only did it coz P pushed us - though she did a fab job I must say
We had completely forgotten about the event - the shortlist came as a mighty suprise - 8 teams out of 197. Nice!
We headed off to Kolkata amidst the gloom and doom of getting dinged left, right and centre
We reached IIM C with a half baked presentation, only to discover that they had arranged for a dingy room with 6 mattress strewn over the floor. As S put it 'even Bunto (his dog) would be ashamed to sleep on them'. and they won't let P stay with us because it was a 'boys hostel'. At ISB such terms are archaic.
So, we somehow finished our presentation, met up with a bunch of DCEites (they seemed to to be all over IIM C), shivered all night (thanks to the razer thin blankets they provided us).

So, what about the final presentation, well except 1-2 hiccups it went like a charm, P again did a fab job with the layout and structure and of course made the two lazy bongs work (ok so it was Cal, I am a bong there).

Impresssions about IIM C- beautiful campus - loved the lakes, dilapidated buildings, chilled out atmosphere - loved the concept of GGP

So here's to Team 'Matrixed' - consulting cos are you listening

Not a bad way to end 2010

2010-12-31T12:54:00.003+05:30

Though I have never been a morning person and never will be, I do like getting up early once in a while and venture out a while. So, this morning I was woken up with a rattle on my window pane and asked to come to dam nearby (it's small water body near my SV). It was 6:30 in the morning and there was this beautiful morning light streaming through my window. It was too tempting an offer and I decided to give it a shot. Of course I didn't regret it - took some pictures, not very happy with how all of them came out, but nevertheless, they symbolise a good end to a good year

Dincharya

2010-12-23T01:47:00.006+05:30

So, beta how was your day like today?
Well, I scrambled out of bed at 7:45 in the morning, took a shower, rushed to class, only to discover that I am a minute late for the 8 AM class and the TA won't give me attendance, then heard the self obsessed professor ramble and on about synergies and consummation of deals, give out dollops of gyan on 'interviews' and unabashedly share with the class how he cracked McKinsey and how he never joined because he wanted to follow his dream and join some bank (yeah right!), and arbit CP - well these my mind shuts off whenever I hear some self proclaimed fin jock share his 'industry experience", well it's funny the way they start "Sir, In my experience.. blah blah..."
So, back to my day, after the class got over, I drink my customary cup of coffee and head to the second class, where the prof is doling out numbers after numbers, graphs after graphs, simulations after simulations whizzing over my head like an Alan Donald bouncer (pity! he doesn't play anymore). After this class got over, I tried to mend broken fences, but I guess damage is too great, all I get are glares " why the f*** don't you just stop existing!"
OK, so I come back and sleep, play squash (yeah a good habit I picked up this term), eat some rubbish, do some random number crunching, submit yet another assignment, prepare my resume for yet another consulting job, why do I even care ! and yeah then the day ends...
I shall not complain. I shall not complain......
P.S by the way did I mention the "reject of the day!"

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

2010-11-12T07:21:00.007+05:30

There are some moments which make you stronger person. These impulsive crazy moments are those life changing instances where you finally stand up for what you always knew was right. You finally crush that idiotic conscious of yours which has always held you back (and is actually still trying to hold you back from posting the blog). You stop hiding behind the make believe security of your ego and face reality for what it really is.

As I said above, all this while in your life your bloated ego was your false security. With that in your stride you fooled around, you had your drunk escapades, you laughed, you cried, but always ran away from reality. The irony is you still thought people will take you seriously.

I guess as you wake in the morning it is all about taking a deep breath and be prepared to face the consequences. You will have people laugh behind you , gossip about you, worse is you will most certainly lose a great friend. Having friends help, but in the end all that they will try do is try and help you return to status quo. So, that doesn't really help, as it will be like going back to square one. These are things you have deal with on your own.

Trick is I guess not to make a big deal out of it. You can't pretend nothing has happened, it has. But, you can't let it ruin the other things in your life. In other words you have to move on, whether or not your action has the intended consequences or not.

---

What will happen next? I don't know. Things are still as blurry as they were last night. But who cares, I have done my bit and I am extremely proud of myself for finally having the courage to have done so! Yeah baby! I rock.

Time is right I guess to make a steaming hot cup of coffee and read the paper - little pleasure of life I have denied myself ever since I have come here.

Really wonder which of these is less intolerant

2010-07-30T19:35:00.006+05:30

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/india/7916367/Indian-lecturer-barred-from-teaching-by-students-for-refusing-burka.html

http://www1.voanews.com/english/news/europe/French-Parliament-Approves-Burqa-Ban-98329849.html

Some direction after all the madness

2010-07-10T10:37:00.007+05:30

I guess the heading sums it quite nicely. Yes, it has been another crazy term, yes, I am not getting great grades again and yes, I am again posting a day before end terms. But, then there have been some real good takeaways from this term.
Our team got the coveted ELP - something for which some 3 other (real good I must say) had applied for. But then, I must say my team consists of some really experienced and intelligent folks (including me, of course) . The project seems pretty interesting and it sure will be a great learning experience.
Another good thing was that I got to many people for what they actually were. As the mascara faded, the true characters of a growing number of people emerged. Why on earth did I admire many of them? Why did I want to be like them? Many of them as I realise now are absolute bullshitters to the core. All this doesn't take you far, it is only a matter of time before people realise that your fart is a fart and not eu de cologne as you made them believe all this while.
Probably the best thing to happen this term was Prof. Kale. That man is a genius. His structured thought process and the ability to put things into perspective is what sets him apart. and yes, as he so rightly said time and again - ask the right questions!
I will be turning 25 in a week. A post soon on how it feels to cross the milestone!

First Term

2010-06-01T02:34:00.007+05:30

I have my last set of exams for the first term tomorrow. So the timing of the post, and that too my first post after I came here is rather ironic. My current state is a strange assortment of confusion, sleep deprivation and a feeling of being directionless. Lack of sleep is understandable, but the other two are not. And, no exams have nothing to do with them. I guess it is more to do with an overload of information and the growing realisation that B school is not what it seems to be to an outsider.
No, I have nothing against ISB. It is a brilliant and a truely intellectually stimulating place. The professors are brilliant. The euphoria of learning during the economics lectures was something I hadn't experienced for ages. Never ever in my 4 years of engineering did I ever have the aha feeling, which I had after the session with Prof Allen.
The trouble however is the pace at which things are going. Thing is that this pace makes it nearly impossible for you to actually imbibe the learning. This however makes it a great place for the geek and the ant variety. Since I am neither, academics at this place is clearly not my cup of tea. I really need to find some other avenues. Time to put on my Innova Shoes!

So Long Evalueserve

2010-03-31T13:20:00.005+05:30

My 33 month tenure with Evalueserve came to an end on Monday. Here is what I wrote to my colleagues as a bye bye mail.
_________
As some of you might be aware, today is my last day at Evalueserve. Working in a company for 33 months, makes everything and everybody associated with it an integral part of you, and I must admit that it is tough for me to imagine that I won’t be coming here from tomorrow onwards

I joined Evalueserve fresh from college, unsure of my footing and apprehensive about what the corporate world had in store for me. I leave this place a lot smarter, a lot wiser and much more certain about myself professionally. For these rather significant changes, I must thank each and every one of you.

I have been lucky enough to be a part BR4 throughout my tenure at Evalueserve. There has been a lot that I have learnt working and interacting with all the wonderful and intelligent people who work here. I guess the fun factor involved with work here makes the experience here all the more special and memorable. I have also got to know some of you very well thanks to the various impromptu trips made across the country and also of course thanks to innumerable sutta and chai breaks. I guess I’ll leave the individual thank you session for the evening – writing it here will make the mail unbearably long.

As for me, I am heading to the Indian School of Business, Hyderabad for my MBA. The course starts on 10 April and I leave Delhi on the 8th.

I would love to stay in touch with all of you. My best wishes for all your future endeavors.

Cheers,
Aditya Jha.

P.S - I was lost for words during my farewell. Could hardly say anything intelligent, just muttered some thank you everybody, you were all nice, nonsense. But all in all 33 months well spent.

Carpe Diem

2010-03-05T15:37:00.003+05:30

It is beginning to sink in now. Probably getting it after a gruelling 3.5 month long wait made the whole thing sweeter. and Yeah I plan to get drunk soon
Cheers

phir dil do...

2010-03-04T10:47:00.007+05:30

The sight of Dhanraj Pillay with his flowing locks zooming past defenders , dexterously tackling them with his magical stick with the roaring crowd behind him was a sight beyond compare for anyone who followed Indian Hockey in the 90s. The super excited commentator provided excellent backdrop to the setting - Pargat to Dhanraj, Dhanraj takes it past the defender, gives it back to Pargat, Pargat hits it hard past the goalkeeper, Dhanraj interjects it and scoops it in the air and its a GOAL....

We had read stories about the Hockey Legend called Major Dhyanchand, we had read about how Don Bradman had once said that he scored goals like runs in Cricket, we had read about how he was instrumental in single handedly annihilating the US Hockey Team (we won 24-0, field hockey not ice hockey, but still), we were told that those were the golden days of Indian Hockey.
But for us millions of viewers who sat glued to the TV afternoon after afternoon, Dhanraj Pillay was the superstar and a victory against the German or the Dutch team (of course also the Pakis) a reason to celebrate.
Now that thanks to the World Cup, Hockey frenzy has gripped the nation again and it is indeed a reason to celebrate. Cricket is slowly becoming too commercialised for its own good, we are just playing too much of it and the corporate lunacy that is IPL is in the papers for all the reasons except cricket. Hockey still provides the old world charm and yet can set the pulse racing at a rate which Lalit Modi's pajama cricket can only dream of. How can one forget the sheer exhilaration that followed once India thrashed Pakistan 4-1 in the first game and the critical yet encouraging comments that followed India's defeat in the next game. People still care about the game and love it when their team puts up an encouraging show.

So, what about the Tournament - Today is critical, we need to beat Spain. England are the proving to the tournament's darkhorse. Match against South Africa should be a cake walk. I plan to go to the stadium for the India England match, it will surely a great one should we defeat Spain today. It will definately do the game a world of good should we reach the final four.

So as SRK said (sorry, I couldn't overcome the urge of putting it here) Chak De India.

Reaction or the lack of it

2010-01-18T23:45:00.006+05:30

I am good at reading people's mind but I rarely react. Sometimes it's just plain nonchalance which has gotten me into and books time and again, other times it's the sheer absurdity of what I think the other person is thinking that makes me ignore the vibes. Sometimes I even play the devil's advocate to check if my hunch was right.

Today, however I did react. I was in middle of an conversation with my boss. The topic was pretty drab - how to react to mail from a client, who apparently didn't like our work, but his 'this is recession and client is god" rhetoric made the conversation funny (at least for me, though I managed to keep a straight face throughout). Being naturally gifted (I know I am humble and down-to-earth) I could sense his sense of dejection and frustration for the company behind the veil of the corporate jargon which he was so impeccably ranting off. Today, I thought was the ideal day to give some free advice to him. I interrupted him and shot back - "Don't make a deity of the client, people dominate you only if you allow them to. It's time to shrug off this brown skin mentality which has permeated deep inside us. I know you don't mean a word of what you just said". After a few seconds of uncomfortable silence, during which I had already started framing my farewell mail, I heard those golden three words, "You are right!"

....which were followed by . "hey! get up man, boss has asked me tell you he has pinged you something" . I had fallen off to sleep on my desk. Gathering my thoughts I checked my inbox, yes the client's mail was still there and so was a ping from my boss "reply to the mail right now and say we sincerely apologise for the mistake". Cursing him I got up and clicked on the reply button... ahh reality!

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction by a bored mind in a very random state, so obviously none of this actually happened. Even, the part after the dream. Of course a dream isn't supposed to happen. And most times I can't even read my own mind, leave alone someone else's...

Bring it on...

2009-12-02T22:38:00.007+05:30

The ISB application had an essay- describe a challenging situation you have faced at work or outside. I know I am too late to write something there, but what I managed during the last two days, easily falls in that category.

Consider this

Scenario 1- 10 AM, Monday morning

I had to send out a deliverable on Monday, with was not even half complete

I had to send out my HEC application by midnight

I had to take CAT next day and reach some godforsaken college in some village by 8 in morning

Scenario 2 - 2 PM, Tuesday morning - everything done.

I really feel proud of myself and am now basking in my glory. I behaved like a maniac for 2 days and didn't sleep a wink. and now come to think of it, how many people actually take the CAT after a night out. not many you know :) and yeah the whole CAT experience was fun if you ask me. For the first time in 3 years I was taking it not as an exam but as an experience. I was quite impressed with the arrangements. no software glitch, or any virus or any malware or anything. everything went smoothly.

déjà vu? I would hope not

2009-11-20T21:26:00.005+05:30

It's funny how things how life goes into a rewind mode sometimes. I got a waitlist from ISB. Well, even they seem to be non committal about me :)
Something similar happened in 2007 with XL and somehow the memories of that aren't very pleasant. I guess the bad experience there was driven more by my over optimism and yes of course the whole drama over OBC reservation . So I was devasted back then and of course there was a major personal heartbreak which added to the agony. But, the whole experience made me a lot wiser.
Anyways, things are different now and while a waitlist is definately a ray of hope, I would consider it a no till the time I get a final offer from them. Yeah, of course it's much much better than a ding.
So what next, from what I understand they would reassess my application with R2 applicants and based on that give me final yes or a no by March next year. Now that is a long way off. Looking at last year's waitlist stats from my team, well one guy got a yes and another guy got a no.
Now here is what I plan to do next
1. Get dead drunk tonight- ISB is a prestigious institute and even getting a waitlist is something to be proud of and thus a reason to celebrate
2. Have a relook at the schools I plan to apply to. That calls for major introspection and frankly something I had stopped doing ever since I got the hallowed interview call.
3. Eat my dinner, it's getting cold

Deshdrohis!!

2009-11-09T23:44:00.004+05:30

What happened today in Maharashtra assembly was deplorable. I would rate it even more shameful than what happened in the UP assembly some 12 years back. That was all about a few goons, who got excited over some argument , displaying what they did best. But today a few self proclaimed sons of Maharashtra tried to show that they were over the constitution, violating the freedom of speech of a person. I mean how can you physically abuse someone for taking an oath in Hindi. Tomorrow, these goons will mete out similar treatment to anyone who speaks in Hindi in Maharashtra! And what's really wtf is that an MLA actually proudly said that to him Raj's sermon is greater than the Indian constitution.
For me suspending these warriors for the Marathi Manoos from the assembly will not solve anything. I am sure Raj Thackrey's Banar Sena will show all this as 'sacrifice' which these 'revolutionaries' made for the greater good.
Make them watch KRK's Deshdrohi 100 times over without break. I am sure they will all be blurting KRK's one liners for the next 10 days and probably even throw a bottle or two at Raj Thackrey.

Two down

2009-11-09T01:04:00.003+05:30

Submitted my Johnson School (Cornell) application a few minutes back. It's quite competitive, they offered admissions to some 270 out of the 2600 odd who applied this year. The university is some 140 years old and the campus is absolutely beautiful. Will be a real treat if I am given a chance to study there. They didn't quite mention how they would conduct my interview (provided I get short-listed). Hope they don't expect me to fly down to New York, well that wouldn't be a bad option actually :))

Next in line is Kellogg - I am nearly done with essays and should be able to submit the application by Tuesday/ Wednesday.

Meanwhile my ISB result should come out in a couple of weeks. It's been a while since the interview and the waiting for the results is giving me the jitters.

I guess, patience is the key these next few months..

Somebody please tell me this is just a bad dream

2009-11-05T23:04:00.005+05:30

"I care about playing for India, it's a passion and I have been absoloutely honoured to play for India so long" - Sachin Tendulkar post the match.

Hats off to you Sachin! Not your fault, we lost. We lost because others lacked the temperament.

Bas, ab bahut ho gaya!

2009-11-04T23:27:00.003+05:30

Every now and then comes a 'break the mould' moment - where every molecule in your body tries to spur every other molecule to break the dormancy and change things around. It's a funny situation, where you start behaving more by instinct and gut feeling rather than by logic. You start getting excited and half of you already starts celebrating . You start hating the way things are right now and routine that you follow and start looking forward to the future. You suddenly get that energy and positive vibes that you were missing for such a long time.

I just hope this time it lasts long enough

If you can fill the unforgiving minute...

2009-10-27T21:53:00.004+05:30

You log on to facebook and see people glorifying their absolutely mundane lives by posting it on the wall, people rearing sheep and beautifying their farm, people who you barely know writing absolutely unwanted comments on your pictures, people who you once had feelings for, proudly dispalying their now 'in a relationship' status -Popping out of the screen and yelling at you -hey you loser! I am his now and you freaking moron I am now so happy now, so hell with you and your stupid know-it-all talk. and he likes to hear the rubbish I speak, and he gets me choclates and yeah he has a big car, not a stupid bike like you... He..hahaha...
So here I am tired, dejected and rejected...

But then come to think of it, this all is my undoing. I am dealing with another situation these days- it deals with someone who is reaching out, literally crying for my help everytime we talk. What do you do you when the only thing you can do is to run away from the situation- at least that way you can help yourself. The sick mentality that many Indian parents have is that they can't accept the fact their daughter is doing better than her son. So, what do you then - you pull her back and push her into the same muck she worked so hard to come out of. and then show the world that they took the step in her larger interest. Congratulations, you have ensured that she will now be stuck there all her life!
and all I can do is watch the drama unfold with these SOBs ruining her life....

These are some of times I really wished I earned more...

Rejuvenated

2009-10-20T02:17:00.005+05:30

I had a serious work out today, after a long long time and I feel great. Relaxed and Rejuvenated. All that lethargy and laziness seems to have gone for good.

Well, a few things have happened over the last couple of weeks. My ISB interview was on 10th. It went pretty well in my opinion. The panel was very patient and was willing to hear me out. Besides the standard B school questions on work, why MBA, etc they asked about my hobbies and I was quick to rattle off my experiences in Sikkim, Goa, Mcleodganj, Bharatpur, Bihar - Pretty diverse list eh. Come to think of it I have actually travelled a lot over the past 2 years or so. Lets see , fingers crossed on this one

On a related note the Mayal Lyang website is up and runnning. http://www.mayallyang.com/. Ankit, has done a pretty decent job , with some contribution from Neeraj and I. Now comes the tougher part, promoting it. We have thought of a few options. I plan to write more about it soon.

I am going off to sleep now, Its pretty late in the night now. and the last thing I want is to reach office at 11:30 like yesterday. though, now that I that I have been to the gym I should manage to get up on time tomorrow

Awesome

2009-10-07T21:36:00.007+05:30

I must admit that though it has been good two weeks since I came back from Sikkim, the hangover still remains. Well here is the public link of the pictures from the trip, which I posted on my FB account. Though I must admit they don't quite do justice to the place. The scenes and moment have been etched deep down and frankly no pictures can be better than that. I am not trying to defend my rather limited photography skills here.
*
The Lingza falls and the adrenaline flow with ice cold water falling on me
Sitting on the banks of the beautiful Rayangchuu
Lachen Valley, Thangu - Frankly I wonder why people go to Switzerland
The cold desert that followed Thangu with no one in site - Stairway to heaven as someone posted on my FB link
Then of course the Gurudongmar Lake - I wonder if I'll see anything more beautiful in my life.
and of course Gyatso - Buddy I can just say that I am lucky to have found a friend like you.

I have fallen in love with Sikkim all over again.

Over to Sikkim

2009-09-16T23:41:00.004+05:30

Its been a busy few days. Managed to submit my first application just in time. It is not an easy process for sure, the essays, the recommendations, the scores submission, the whole thing sure sucks your blood. I only hope that the process is as holistic as they claim. These guys said they will announce the results by October first week, fingers crossed for that.

Another thing that has kept me busy of late is office. I have been handling almost double the amount of work that I usually handle - actually a precondition for me for the 6 day leave I applied for. But frankly I don't mind the extra work - coz I am going to Sikkim... yuhu..

I loved it when I first went there 2 years back, though that was more work related. This time it is for pure fun and a bit of adventure. We are planning to essentially cover North Sikkim and go till Gurudongmar Lake. Beyond Mangan, the area is prone to landslides, especially in this weather. Hoping that the weather holds up and there aren't any landslides etc. It is gonna be a hell of a trip if every thing goes as per plan!

My next post will definitely be about the trip. That reminds me, I must write about the Triund trek here. I have been too lazy to write that down.

Quarter-Life Crisis

2009-07-19T13:35:00.005+05:30

Well I didn't know something like that existed till I read about it wikipedia. The article says that this is a term applied to a period of life, ranging from early twenties to early thirities. Some characteristics include-

Feeling not good enough about your job
Frustation with relationships
Confusion of identity
Insecurity regarding the near future, life goals, long term plans
Nostalgia for university, college, high school, etc

Man! I am screwed. I am going through a crisis for sure!

Yes!

2009-07-10T14:38:00.006+05:30

Bhagwan ne meri sun li! After gluing my ass to the chair for the last 3 months trying to solve those pathetic sentence correction and data sufficiency questions, I am pretty happy with the end result. and I don't care if the last sentence was not grammatically correct.
Yipee! my gurgaon house is going to be madhushala for the next two days!

Vodka and Orange Juice

2009-06-21T16:16:00.009+05:30

Looking back at the episode which got me all worked up and worried this Thursday, I guess it was more a panic attack rather than anything else. Alcohol was certainly a great help (and thanks poly for the company!). 6 large pegs of Vodka with orange juice made me realise how foolishly sentimental I was being.

I have come up with a quote after this incident (Mallaya you can use this if you give me 10 Lakhs or one of your....)

"Most things in life aren't worth getting worked up upon, for everything else there is Alcohol"

Please don't call it cliched.

This has been a meeting up and catching up weekend. Met 5 of my beloved classmates this friday, chatted with one this morning and talked with another one some time back (after a long long time). If things go as per plan, will meet another this Saturday (after a long long time again).

Do spectacles make me look intellectual, well going by the what people have told me of late, they certainly do. And considering that this was what I had hoped for when I started wearing them, I should certainly be happy (read what I posted last August). Ahh how wish people call me intellectual after reading this blog, which I must admit is more full of rambling than any solid Shashi Tharoor type stuff.

This has been a relatively power cut free weekend (fingers crossed as I write this). How unlike the millenium city!

and I smell female perfume...

Oh Mumbai!!

2008-12-01T23:12:00.009+05:30

Let's not forget those 59 hours

Let's not forget the gunshots, the blasts and the screams of people

Let's not forget the cries of the 3 year old boy longing for his mother

Let's not forget the outrageous comments of our politicians

Let's not move on and praise ourselves on our spirit

Let's not make 183 another statistic

Let's ensure that our soldiers and policemen didn't die in vain

Let's change ourselves and change our country

this and that

2008-10-05T01:10:00.004+05:30

I suddenly remembered the password of an email id I had created when in school. and suprisingly it opened. Hail Rediff! It had some 400-500 unread mail mostly from Nigerians offering to transfer some money to my account. There were a couple of mails from FIITJEE, for their classroom programmes. Some people still had hope. Though the mail brought back from sweet bitter memories of "those days".
and yeah the id goes by the name cooladi1@rediffmail.com.
*
I rode from office to home on my bike yesterday and in peak traffic. and managed it quite well. I ride it quite well now
*
Haven't smoked for the past 3 days now. Thanks to Ramadoss and the fact that I am at home
*

When September ends....

2008-09-30T22:47:00.011+05:30

A lot has happened since the last time I wrote something here. Some of them are positive, most unfortunately are negative. I'll try and jot them down

A dear friend stopped talking me. For no reason. Or maybe its like that Saint Gobain glass, crystal clear, and thats the irony coz u can never be sure its there
I bought a bike, after a spending a fortnight struggling to ride it, losing its papers, meeting with an accident, wandering about in Gurgaon to find a helmet shop, I have finally begun to get a hang of it.
I have started wearing glasses. Most people didn't even notice it. They all said it appeared I always wore specs. Now what the hell is that supposed to mean.
Life on the work front has been pathetic. There was just too much work in office over the past 1- 1.5 months or so. and I am not writing about it here.
With CAT nearing (just about 45 more days) to go, its just getting on my nerves. Though I am sure this time I am much better prepared than the previous two times. I hope I keep my cool on the D day.

I have taken the next week off from work and hope to spend some quality time at home. and there is Goa coming up December. So that something to look forward to. and yeah September is about to end, so its high time I woke up:)

itna andhera kyun hai bhai!!!

2008-08-12T23:31:00.006+05:30

My worst fears are coming true.. I am going to wear specs..urrrgghhhhh. But I guess people look intellectual when they wear specs..
Though in all it does confirm one thing.. I am short sighted

Insomnia

2008-07-27T19:33:00.006+05:30

Whenever most of us look back at our childhood we are reminded of joyous and carefree times. We are reminded of loving and caring parents. But not everyone is as lucky. Some people associate childhood with hardship, abuse, trauma, exploitation. I heard one such horrifying story the other night. I have not been able to sleep since

What to write

2008-07-23T23:42:00.004+05:30

I have this opened this window many times mostly by thought that I should write something on my blog rather than the thought, that wow! this is something great and I should write something about this here. This is how I have dealt with my blog over 15 months of its existence. I simply cannot figure out what to write here.
but what the heck! I guess I'll give it a shot anyways. I guess I'll write about something I have been thinking a lot over during past few days. Bikes.
I have always wanted one but i have never known how to ride one. One part of me sees the man and his machine as symbiotic creatures ready to take on the world. The other part is too lazy (read ashamed) to ask someone else to teach him how to ride one. Ironical isn't it. but that's how it is. However, I have finally got my new license made (the previously was in the wallet which got stolen in a blueline and now must be the property of some truck driver in Punjab) and that has given a new lease of life to the knight rider. So hopefully very soon I shall be the proud owner of gleaming new machine. (but before that i have learn properly how to ride one)

a strange feeling

2008-04-10T00:13:00.006+05:30

Yesterday, I longed to see someone really badly.. So much so that it was all that I thought of the whole day..This hasn't happened to me in the recent past.... I am not even sure whether the other person feels the same way.. I think its better to think of other things as of now..

of dorks and other people

2008-03-27T01:14:00.002+05:30

So far I have refrained from writing anything about office on the blog, primarily because I never felt as if there was something significant enough to write. I mean there is nothing really exciting about jumping from one project to another, making drab client friendly presentations, formatting them and then reformatting them (something i really suck at and totally detest, much to the frustration of my project managers) and then writing the same old emails to the client which in which you write the same old crap which you wrote last time albeit re framed and restructured (and somehow the dork still doesn't get you or pretends not to get you). So all I could probably write here was how overloaded I am work, how desperate we are here to "delight" the dorks , how I think I am surrounded by nincompoops (who probably think the same about me), how I am frustrated with this dork and that dork and so on and yeah about how underpaid we are for the amount of work we do (though I doubt the number of employees in this world who feel otherwise would even make a minuscule fraction). All this is something which I won't like to mull over when not in office, so why the hell would I write about all this here.
But, as they say with good things, you hardly realise them when they are happening to you and that is something which is probably happening to me right now. I have grown up and that is thanks to office, though I still have miles to catch up with most people my age (somehow the kid in me always stops me from doing so). Office has done wonders to the way I think, the way I write, the way I talk (though the kid keeps popping out time and again). I could barely structure my thoughts earlier; jumping from one idea to another like walking barefoot on a hot roof. I think now after good eight hard months of toil and labour the roof is beginning to cool down and so am I . and yeah I have met a few people here with some truly enviable traits; some of them I hope to possess one day. So I guess I will probably bear with the dorks for the moment, there is much to learn here :). Office isn't that bad after all. and yeah that would mean writing more about it and so I would...

yuhuuuu

2008-03-23T23:58:00.003+05:30

raghu dixit rocks... so does mysore se aayi woh...
mysore se aayi woh... dil yeh chura ke le gayi.....
awesome song.. awesome album actlly... too good...
and pheni rocks too.... its really good.. i am high... yuuhhuuuu

biography of a loser

2008-03-17T00:26:00.005+05:30

I have always struggled to find something about which I am really passionate about in my life.. Nothing has ever interested me so much that I have taken a plunge and decided to purusue as my sole aim in life. I once thought that Cricket was one, but later realised that I was only a little better than mediocre, so left it. I suck at all types of creative art so music , fine arts were all ruled out. As a kid I was fond of reading, really fond of it, but later left it as I felt I was being forced to read by my parents. I agree a really strange reason to leave reading. (Fortunately, thanks to a dear friend I have started reading again). In college I took a liking to jogging, used to regularly go for jogs during my second year, but then again left as laziness took control of my life. I guess thats how my life has been so far, full of half attempts, full of well intended pursuits, which somehow loses steam half way through.

But I am determined to change all this now, as I will now go full throttle towards aim .. my goal . .my passion.. my lakshya (it incidentally is one of my fav hindi movie).. I will and I will get it.. as soon as I decide what it is

The struggle continues..

2007-11-03T01:48:00.005+05:30

I wrote an article related to the upcoming hydel power projects in sikkim, a few months back . . Chanced upon it while cleaning my hard disk today. Thought it deserved a place here.

Development or Destruction

“Good Bye friend and when you go back to Delhi, tell them that the Lepchas chased you with bows and arrows” joked Dawa (Gen Sec ACT) with the usual glint in his eyes. I was leaving Dzongu; with a heavy heart though. I had formed a bond with the place. With the simple hard working people, the gurgling river, the majestic mountains, the aromatic smell of burning wood and even the rickety bamboo bridge which I must admit requires some skill to cross. Dzongu had made an indelible impression on me.

It was sheer chance that brought me here. In Gangtok, while on an assignment to study the impacts of upcoming Hydro Electric Projects (HEP), I met two members of Affected Citizens of Teesta (ACT) who urged me to come to Dzongu and see the situation first hand. “It’s in a remote corner of Sikkim. It will take 5 hours from here and let me warn you the roads are bad” said Gyatso, whose kind hospitality I was to enjoy for the next two days. It was just the thing I need to complete my assignment and I decide to pounce upon the opportunity.

I spent the next two days discussing the situation with the locals and the members of ACT. “It’s a fight to save our community from extinction. We are a Vanishing Tribe” exclaimed Dawa. He had every reason for this concern. Lepchas were the aboriginal inhabitants of Sikkim and are now a minority in Sikkim. With 6 mega hydel power project coming up in Dzongu the community is bound to feel threatened. “Very Soon there will more Labourers than the Lepchas in Dzongu and it is supposed to be a protected area for us!!” said Dawa. The people of the region are also hardly skilled to be employed in activity related to the dams.

I went to the proposed project site of Panan HEP, Dzongu; a 300 MW project which was granted Environmental Clearance on January 2nd. The dam is to be built on Rangyang Chhu, a major tributary of Teesta with a power house at Panan Village. The dam site is on the buffer zone of Kanchendzonga Biosphere Reserve. The area near the dam site comprises of dense mixed deciduous as well as evergreen forests. The forest here has rich biodiversity. Out 160 Mammalian Species found in Sikkim, 105 Species are found in Panan HEP Catchment. Out of which many species such as Himalayan Tahr, Serow, Blue sheep – Bharal, Musk deer, Red panda, Tibetan wolf, Leopard, Snow leopard, Clouded leopard fall in the schedule 1 of the Wildlife Protection Act. Since the project is Run of the River (ROR) type the submergence here would be insignificant. However the major impact on the wildlife would be due to the human intervention and related construction activities such as blasting, vehicular movement, cutting of trees etc. The place has had little human interference so far as the area is sparsely populated. An influx of construction workers and the construction activities could have disastrous consequences for this ecologically sensitive area.

However the biggest impact of the HEP would be on the river itself. The river is in pristine condition and the EIA report calls it as unstressed of any pollution. The EIA report also calls the majority of the species as pollution intolerant. There is also no provision of compulsory downstream flow in the Environmental Clearance given to the project. Thus the 14 km stretch of river between dam and power house may have insufficient flow once the dam is commissioned. Rangit Dam is a good example in this regard. I visited the Rangit HEP a few days after visiting Dzongu. This was the lean season and thus there was hardly any water flowing downstream of the dam. The officials at the dam site said they simply couldn’t afford to release water as it would automatically mean less power generated. Same thing could happen with Rangyong Chuu. This beautiful river might actually disappear for the section between the dam and the Power house during the lean season.

Energy Security is definitely a major concern for our country and Sikkim is a part of 50,000 MW Hydel Power Scheme launched by the Government of India. With 22 Major Power Projects coming up in the State, this could also act as a major source of revenue for the cash strapped Sikkim government. The 510 MW Teesta 5 Project, the first of the 22 projects is yet to be commissioned. It has been full of controversies right from the start with questionable public hearing, poor R&R measures, collapse of the Surge Shaft, improper muck disposal and not to mention the various social problems associated with the project. Thus common sense would tell anyone to have a detailed study of the environmental and social impacts of the Teesta- V project after it is commissioned. Only after that should other projects should be awarded. But the government probably thinks otherwise. It has been awarding projects to various power companies at an alarming rate. If everything thing goes as per state government's plan, it might mean big money for the power companies and the government, but at the same time it could probably lead to one of India's biggest environmental disasters.

Since independence India has looked at hydel power as a cheap and reliable source of power. With global warming being the talk of the town these days, it is likely that there will be further empahsis on hydel power as it is an emission free source of power. But it is always an environment friendly source? That is one question we need to ask ourselves.

-
P.S - ACT members launched a hunger strike in June, 2007 protesting against the HEPS coming up in Dzongu , with Dawa spearheading the movement. He was on a hunger strike for nearly 2 months before he was forced to withdraw due to ill health. The relay hunger strike continues till date.

Log on to http://weepingsikkim.blogspot.com/ for details.

I am Luving It

2007-10-08T01:34:00.001+05:30

Sometimes things seem to happen for no reason. Scientifically it is not possible, as all things should have a reason. So if one really makes up his mind to find out the reason, it in most cases would be a chain reaction; spurred in all probablity by a seemingly inconsequential event. Over that last few hours I am trying to single out that very event.

I am feeling damn good about myself. I suddenly feel I have got that spark which was missing over past few months. I am feeling more energetic than I have felt ever before. I am in love with myself.

...and best part is I have no damn idea about the reason for it :)

Moving On...

2007-10-05T19:56:00.005+05:30

I like the ease with which most people say they have moved on with their lives. I sometimes really wonder whether it is that easy. Over the last three months I have been anything but idle. I have been really busy; shuttling every day from my home to office in cabs, working endlessly on one project after other, trying to meet deadlines, trying to delight the clients :) as they say it here. But I really don't think I have moved on. I don't think I can.

Somehow I always feel that how much ever we try a part of our past always remains with us and there is precious little we can do about it. Some people try to forget it in order to move on with their lives. But I really don't think that possible. At least I am not one such person. I love to remain nostalgic most of the times.

a new phase

2007-07-08T15:00:00.001+05:30

Its been a while since I posted something here.. Frankly there was nothing much to write. The last few days were everything but exciting. The party in my house was probably the only silver lining. Though when I came to my senses the next day I realised that the house was in a teribble mess and I had probably the worst hangover of my life. So spent the next day cleaning up the house and guzzling glasses after glasses of cold coffee. It in my opinion is the best remedy for a hangover.

Anyways , the good news is that my life is about to enter a new phase . My professional life starts tomorrow and I am very excited about the same. However the bad part is that my office starts at 7:30 in the morning and the cab would come to my house around 6:30. So I will have to make major adjustments to my biological clock. A small sacrifice probably considering that this was one of the companies I was aiming at last year. I intend writing my experiences soon. Here is a picture of the building where my (would be) office is located.

Sikkim Weeps...

2007-06-27T23:04:00.002+05:30

The other day I got a phone call from a friend. He puts up in Passendam , a remote village in North Sikkim. A series of Hydro Electric Power Projects are coming up in the region. The villagers mostly Lepchas by origin have been protesting against them. But it has been falling on deaf ears. So they had to resort to drastic measures. Three of them are now on a hunger strike for the last 8 days. Click on the link for more details.

http://weepingsikkim.blogspot.com/

I wouldn't have heard about the hunger strike had it not been for my friend. I haven't seen any newspaper in Delhi or any major media channel covering it. Is covering marriages of celebrities more important for our media? Why do we alwys need a Medha Patker for the nation to wake up and listen. All that these people want is to be heard. It is very sad that in the 60th year of our independence even that is proving to be difficult.

the bench

2007-06-19T13:32:00.002+05:30

I have always loved this bench at the electrical canteen (DCE). Have spent many memorable hours sitting there ...Eating piping hot samosas... Listening to Ankit's funny one lines and Neeraj's latest funda.... Planning out the next Daru Party.. Discussing the eccentricities of the teachers of our department..... and yeah staring (mind u not ogling)....

Now, there is a particular way of sitting on it. The bench has a table attached to the back rest. So you place your bottom on the table and put your foot where your are supposed to place your bottom. For your back there is the wall...

I dunno for how much time it wud be there.. may be someday someone might throw it away calling it an eysore.. or it just might give up on its own... I just hope that it doesn't happen soon... Electrical Canteen would lose its charm without it...

Zeher Khurani......

2007-06-14T18:03:00.002+05:30

"Zeher Khurani Giroh Se Saawdhaan" screamed a warning written in bold letters inside the bus...It was hard to miss it.. especially if u were sitting on the front seat ... It was March end and I was going to Rishikesh with friends....

Zeher Khurani..... Dramatic scenes started flashing though my mind... Our bus rambling along a deserted highway..... fields on both sides.... Suddenly the bus driver sees a barricade on the road.. The bus screeches to halt.. In no time men apear from the fields brandishing their swords..... Turbans on their head...Red tikka on their forehead.... They kick open the door and swarm into the bus..... shouting Zeher Khurani Zindabad!!!! Kali Maiyya ki Jai !!!!

Off goes the head of the driver in one swish of the Sword.. The conductor also meets the same fate...then their Sardar points the tip of his sword on the chin of a pot bellied Seth and shouts "Tum Logon Ke Paas Jo bhi Kimti Saaman hai de do"..

Wow! The trip promised nothing less than a bollywood potboiler of the 80s.. but much to my dismay the journey was as boring as ever..... except probably that brief moment of panic when the police chaps came to check luggage... I thought they would discover our booze and confiscate it... fortunately no such thing happened...

Anyways later I found out about the Zeher Khurani Giroh.. They are a group of people who specialise in drugging people and running away with their valuables.. Baah! We live in such an boring world...

My fanged brother

2007-06-08T00:43:00.002+05:30

It sometimes amuses me that most of the kids living in my block known the name of my dog and probably none of them know mine.. I once heard one of them calling me "Jojo waale Bhaiya" ... Jojo is incidently the name of my dog.. An adorable alsation*.... unfortunately this is something which very few people appreciate..usually getting terrified by the stream of barks he lets out moment they press the doorbell...

He came to us some 6 years back.... appeared as the runt of the litter.... and so was probably ignored both his by mother and the former owner... yet he had this mischveous glint in his dark brown eyes... something that remains till today...

His hard to imagine life without him now... his daily walks, the ticks which somehow always get stuck to his body, his fondness for icecream, the scores of rats he has killed, his welps pleading us to switch the air conditioner on ...and the look of sheer exhilaration on his face whenever he sits in the car (as if the whole "pack" is on a hunting expedition)... He has become an integral part of our lives....

P.S -I don't have his picture with me on the comp.. will upload it moment i have it.... and yeah the blog is now public

(*) Alsation and German Shephard both refer to the same breed... they are often mistaken to be different

Frustrated...

2007-06-07T16:37:00.003+05:30

I have learnt two things during the past few days..
1. Past is not always a precursor to future..
2. Jogging is the best thing to do when u r frustated..

I am frustated.... Frustated about nothing happpening my way over the last few days.. absolutely nothing.... I have this horrible habit of not taking such things too well.. and this makes it worse..

and yeah jogging does make u forget ur woes for the time being...So i have started doing that... every evening ..At least this way I'll lose weight ....

Of small things and the greater good

2007-06-03T12:40:00.001+05:30

A friend of mine is a big fan of Arundhati Roy.... He keeps quoting portions from The God of Small Things (TGOST) time and again.... His passion for the book rubbed on to me and I finally read TGOST a few weeks back ... and loved it...

During my School days I remember reading an essay by Arundhati Roy in the Outlook.. It was on the Narmada Dam... I read it again today and could probably appreciate it more than I could as a teenager ... Here is the link...

The Greater Common Good

I am not exactly a great fan of Arundhati Roy the activist... However the essay does make you think... about how a villager is denied his "basic rights" to give the urbanite his "basic comforts" .....about how the first world still rules the third world... about how we conveniently say that the "Natural Resources" belong to the country.... about how our policy makers have been ignoring conventional wisdom over the years.... and about how little we know about our fellow countrymen...

I intend reading more by Arundhati Roy soon.... but definately not today.. My(a) head is spinning.... the article was really thought provoking...

P.S- The blog already has 4 readers ... will invite more people soon...

An uncertain start..

2007-06-02T16:25:00.000+05:30

It's not that I always wanted to have a blog.. neither it is that my mind is like a caged bird desperate to be free.. and neither is my mind brimming with ideas and thoughts... and i don't think i write well either... Starting a blog was just a sudden thought... a sudden desire for no reason.... something that has guided the 21 (soon to be 22) years of my existence..

This may exactly be the thing the confused contradictory person that I am needs.... may be I need a medium to pour my heart out... may be I need to find out what I am really passionate about... may be I need to discover people... may be I need to discover me...

and now that i have created one, I plan to be sincere about it.. I am usualy sincere about very few things.. I hope this blog would be one of them..

As of now i plan to keep this blog as private.... not planning to invite anyone to see it.... May be with time that might change...